Security as a Relational Need

Dr. Erskine, a clinical psychologist, educator, and therapist with over five decades of experience, speaks about the schizoid process as a psychological way of functioning that develops in response to early emotional injuries — especially those involving broken contact, emotional deprivation, neglect, or trauma in early childhood.

He explores our fundamental relational needs, what happens when those needs go unmet, and how withdrawal and silence can be understood not as pathology but as protective adaptations. The conversation also highlights his book Withdrawal, Silence, and Loneliness: Helping Clients Who Have a Schizoid Process, in which Dr. Erskine offers a compassionate understanding of individuals often misperceived as distant or detached, yet carrying deep emotional wounds and a longing for connection.

00:00 Coming up / In this episode
02:28 Psychology and psychotherapy as a calling
04:19 Integrative Psychotherapy
09:10 The schizoid process, disorder, and interpersonal relationships
11:55 What is the schizoid process?
15:05 How do psychological splits develop, and how many can there be?
19:00 Self-generated criticism and accommodation
22:30 The schizoid process and social relationships – the schizoid dilemma
29:20 Fundamental relational needs
33:44 Self-critical parts
36:47 The schizoid disorder and taking on the parental role
44:25 Therapy, withdrawal, and the schizoid disorder
52:30 The story of Louise – a narcissistic adaptation
58:40 The online world, masks, boundaries, and withdrawal
1:01:33 How to attune to another person’s rhythm?
1:06:09 What if we recognize the schizoid process in someone close to us?
1:12:30 Myths about psychotherapy